Single Mothers 

Single Mothers: Society’s Silent Heroes
by Sakeena Suliman – Cii News
 While children who are being raised by a single mother may seem to have a disadvantage, the fact is it has not prevented many offspring raised in single-parent households from excelling in various aspects of life, even surpassing many of their peers.
Children who grow up under the hand of a single mother, more often than not, discredit the hurtful stigmas and careless stereotypes. Being a single parent is financially, emotionally and physically demanding as one parent tries to fulfil a dual parent role, that of both a mother and a father.
In his book The Ideal Muslimah, Dr Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi writes, “The Muslim woman never forgets that the mother’s responsibility in bringing up the children and forming their characters is greater than that of the father…”
Children tend to be closer to their mother and spend more time with her, explains Hashimi “She knows all about their behavioural, emotional and intellectual development during their childhood and the difficult years of adolescence… Hence the woman who understands the teachings of Islam and her own educational role in life, knows her complete responsibility for the upbringing of her children…”
The family home is one part of society in which children form their mentality, intellect, attitudes and inclinations when they are still very young and ready to receive sound words of guidance. Making it apparent that parents’ play an important role in forming their children’s minds and directing them towards truth and good deeds is quite clear.
It might come as a surprise to know that there is a brilliant record from history of Muslim women who raised and influenced their children to become strong individuals. These individuals, having been instilled with noble values, left a legacy for humanity, their example perhaps shines more brightly because of being raised by single parents, in most cases their mother’s.
“…Intelligent and brilliant women have produced more noble sons than have intelligent and brilliant men, so much so that you can hardly find any among the great men of our Ummah who have controlled the course of events in history who is not indebted to his mother,” writes Hashimi.
From the Ambiyaa AS, Hazrat Ismail AS was raised by Hajar RA, her acts as a mother is actively remembered till today.  Maryam RA, mother of Hazrat Isa AS, and Amina RA, the mother of our beloved Nabi Muhammad SAW, both raised their sons alone due to different circumstances.
Al Zubayr ibn al Awwam’s  رّضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ* mother *Safiyyah bintAbd al Muttalib رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْها instilled in him his good qualities and distinguished nature. The sons of al-Zubayr, Abdullah al Mundhir and Urwah رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمْ * were the products of the values instilled in them by their mother, *Asma’ bint Abi Bakr رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْها* Each of them made his mark in history and attained a high status.
_*Ali ibn Abi Talib  رّضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ* received wisdom, virtue and good character from his distinguished mother, *Fatimah bint Asad رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْها*. The master of Arab generosity and the most noble of their leaders, *Abdullah ibn Ja
far  رّضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ
, lost his father at an early age. It was his mother Asma’ bint Umays رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْها* who reared him and gave him the virtues and noble characteristics by virtue of which she herself became one of the great women of Islam._
awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan inherited his strength of character and intelligence from his mother, Hind bint Utbah, not from his father Abu Sufyan. *Muawiyah  رّضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ
himself was unable to instill his cleverness, patience and skills in his own son and heir, Yazid. His (Yazid) mother was a simple Bedouin woman, whom Mu’awiyah had married for her beauty and her tribe and family’s status.
The mothers of Imam al-Shafi’ RA, Imam Ahmed RA and Imam Bukhari RA also raised their sons alone, all of whom are remembered as renowned figures that left a major impact on the world.
The common thread between these mothers is that they all put their trust in ﷲ͜عَزَّوَجَــــل and worked hard to be the best mother they could be to their children. There are many more examples of brilliant Muslim women from our history who instilled in their sons nobility of character and the seeds of greatness, and who stood behind them in everything they achieved of power and status.
But these examples are sometimes forgotten in our communities. While Âllâhﷻ alone only knows the truth of why couple’s divorce or what leads to a woman being a single mother, people still speculate and choose sides, making the single parent’s  role that much tougher on an already challenging road.
A 30 year old revert who wished to remain anonymous said the circumstances under which she is raising her son as a single mother “will إِنْ شــآءَﷲ count in his favour”. She reverted to Islam the year her son turned one and had to immediately separate herself from his father because he did not accept Islam.
“Being able to raise my son under the fold of Islam has enabled us to understand the Deen together and grow as Muslims, without the interference of his father’s beliefs. It is through this sacrifice that إِنْ شــآءَﷲ my son will continue the legacy of Islam,” she added.
Not all women are single mothers by choice, said this mother, “It’s a matter of making the best of a situation you are put in. It takes a dedicated woman to raise children who will not feel the void of a father figure or at least not be impacted negatively by his absence.”
On Cii Radio’s Facebook page Naiema wrote,” “Being a young woman raised in a single parented (sic) home..has indeed been challenging, but with the mercy of ﷲ͜عَزَّوَجَــــل my mother had stood the test of time not only as a mother but a father as well…”
Whatever the circumstances, the reality is that single Muslim mothers are part of our communities, and need support in their efforts to raise resilient Muslim children for the future – not criticism.
Single mothers who strive to build homes where there is stability, safety, love, discipline and consistency can create loving homes in which their children will flourish.
Zainab, another Facebook user wrote, “It’s better to raise your child alone than to raise your child with an Immoral Man/Family. I know many mothers who have raised Strong/Educated and Deeni Inclined children.
 May Âllâhﷻ reward all those mums who single handedly bring up their kids.”
With positivity single Muslim mothers who are resilient will model children of strong character especially if done with faith in ﷲ͜عَزَّوَجَــــل Perfection is an ideal that no parent can live up to.
Society should do their best to be more supportive of single mothers and single parents, as they are silent heroes who work through many challenges to keep their families blossoming.